What are you really expecting from work?
A few years ago, a friend of mine went through a leadership training program and there was a lesson covering emotional intelligence that really connected with her so she shared it with me. In short, we are each carrying some narrative, or story, in our mind and we see our experiences through the filter of those stories. Some of us are not even aware of them. The story we tell ourselves doesn’t have to be what we actually accept, or believe, but for many of us, we do believe the stories because we’ve never identified that they exist, or that they can be questioned.
You can have a story about who you are supposed to be, what other people are supposed to be, where you should be in life, or how people (should) think about you. All of them are stories, and they are upheld by our bias to believe that they are true.
So, I’ve been increasingly mindful about how stories influence the way that we see work. I think our stories about work, can be shaped by many things — the way the people who’ve raised us talked about their work, our earliest work experiences, and even the media and literature we consume. For some of us, we don’t quite know what we think about work, but we do know what everyone around us does, and their views shape our own stories.
What is your personal story about what work means, and what you should expect from it?
Is work a place where you solely expect to make as much money as possible? Is work a place where you expect your intelligence or skills to be validated? Is work a place where you are supposed to achieve power or influence? Is work supposed to be a place where you should expect your years of education to be well-utilized and validated? Should you expect for work to make you better at your skill or talent?
In the last few months, I’ve asked different people what their expectations are, and their answers vary. Some people I know expect to find meaning in work, because their story tells them that work is a place that owes them meaning. Others, simply look to work to pay for the lifestyle they desire outside of work. Some are hybrids who see work as a place to find validation for their intellect and hard work, and pays for a lifestyle that makes the hard work worthwhile.
Irrespective of our story, and expectation of work, I think it is important to take a moment to clearly identify what it is. That expectation influences the way we see ourselves, conduct ourselves and measure ourselves and others. If you walk into work seeing it as a place where you expect validation of your intelligence, every time someone disagrees with your ideas, it will weigh on you. If you expect work to be create meaning in your life, and your projects do not connect to an impact that moves you, every day will feel somewhat empty.
I used to work in an environment that was pretty hierarchical, where rewards were primarily given based on tenure. So, there was an inherent expectation from many employees that with time they should expect a reward (i.e. money, promotion, power, and affiliation). When people were rewarded for reasons outside of tenure, the most tenured employees were the first to express dissent. The environment wasn’t rewarding their expectations for the work environment. It changed their vibe and attitude toward others who seemed to evade their expectations for work, and still win.
Before your next workday, ask yourself what you really expect from work. Ask yourself if your expectations are realistic, and how much of your expectation for work relies on something, or someone, who is out of your control. It may help you determine why circumstances and situations frustrate you as deeply as they do, and take more ownership of your experience, your attitude and your behavior. You may have more power than you think.